The words you're about to read are extra charged with what I'm talking about today. I wrote this entire blog and lost it RIGHT before I hit publish due to "technical issues" in which autosave wasn't working properly...so here we go again.
After four years of recovery, the most unbroken sobriety I've had in my entire adult life, I still get cravings. The holidays and stress trigger my temptation to use substances individually. Stack them on top of each other and I start wading into that risk of relapse territory. So, today we're going to talk about a critical part of my relapse prevention process:
TAKING ACTION
The 2024 holiday season was an especially stressful one. Between stressful family members, old health issues re-emerging, totaling my car, having to get my son where he needed to be for the holidays, and getting another car during one of the biggest holidays of the year... My stress levels have been at a peak. Mix in the holiday, New Year's Eve, into the recipe and it starts looking like a whopping bowl of disaster. See, New Year's Eve was that one holiday that for the majority of my adult life I ALWAYS drank on. The party days, the beginning of my self-medicating time, or the heavy side of those days near the end, New Year's Eve has always been a difficult night for me to abstain. So I made myself a road map.
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First, the self-awareness I'm sneaking into my blogs all over the place. It's how we can take a continuous inventory of our lives, and the pivot point of reacting vs responding. It's the point where we're able to accept the things we can't change, and find the courage to change the things we can. Sound familiar? Second, form a plan. What can you do? Who can you talk to? Where can you go to get yourself out of the situation causing your distress? I now seek these things out with the tenacity I once used to seek out my next bottle. I enjoy alone time. Seclusion and serenity are valuable to me and help me recharge my batteries. But, I have to be careful I don't let it turn into a depressive isolation. That state of being almost killed me. Third, take action on that plan.
Thinking will not overcome fear, but action will. —W. Clement Stone
So, this year I felt the shoulder devil take his place and start piling up the anxieties. Trying to tell me that I already knew an immediate release to the stress I was feeling in my head and heart. Luckily, with the help of recovery, a few different therapists, and awesome friends, I know those devilish little sweet nothings being whispered in my ear are blatant lies. Giving in to those temptations leads only to destruction. Self-destruction to be exact and that's a road I've already traversed. I don't like that road or the lonely and painful destination it almost dropped me off at four years ago. Almost to the day this publication comes out.
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The insight that I came here to share is that this year I followed my plan. Step one, I was aware enough to notice the stress and looming triggers. Step two, I shucked off the masculine pride and admitted I needed help from the people I trust. I then made plans to get out of the mindset and environment that was dragging me down. Step three, I took action and spent the most difficult time of the holiday with my best friend and reached out to other trusted members of my support system. The pride part may have been the hardest part. But past that the interaction and change of scenery is what helped me the most.
I will always be grateful for the people I am speaking about here. Having a support system in the form of family, friends, colleagues, and people like peer recovery coaches, sponsors, and therapists is so important to our success in a life of wellness.
So, take action in your recovery.
Until next time.
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