These last three years have been the best and most difficult of my entire life. They have been full of breaking chains from bad habits and relationships, turning a no less than bleak mental state into a blossoming life, and growth in not only my spiritual life but my financial and competence spectrum as well. I had to lose relationships in this process, but new and healthier ones have grown in their place. There has been the loss of loved ones and added friendships. There were unhealthy behaviors thrown in the garbage and skills that have been cultivated and harvested instead. My physical health has gone from existing to moving in the right direction following this trend due to better decision-making. Why am I laying all of this out on the table today?
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I get the privilege of attending the UFAM rally in Lansing this coming week with my coworkers and friends. As we prepare for the trip to the capital I've gotten to reflect on the blessings I have in my life today. I am allowed opportunities and privileges that I never thought possible even 1 year ago. While experiencing this, I have been focusing on getting rid of "old energy" in my life. I've pack-ratted so many old things for reasons I can't even pinpoint and held on to these things in what I can only describe as laziness to do anything about them. Maybe it's just their time to go and I've been spending my attention on healing other parts of my life? Or maybe I'm finally healed enough to realize I really don't need these old things anymore?
"Or maybe I've just been lazy and the new people, places, and things I've surrounded myself with are inspiring me to do something about it?" —Mitchell O'Brien
All I know today is that these changes feel good and after a time of harvesting some of the cultivation I've been doing in my life...seeing some of the fruits of my decisions has been a very good feeling. I started this publication trying to teeter-totter good and bad things that I've experienced since choosing a life in recovery. I did this because I want you to know that this has not, in any way, been an easy process. It's been down right difficult at times. But, The fruits of my efforts in the physical, emotional, spiritual, financial, and relational parts of my life have been worth every tear, every moment of pain, every uncomfortable situation, and even worth the relationships I've lost in that time. Much like a big complicated, yet rewarding, cut-and-paste.
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These moments of discomfort pop up from time to time. The only thing now is that instead of hiding and avoiding them, as I did in my "dark ages" over three years ago, I get to see them as seeds planted. Because in one way or another, I know that taking these moments of discomfort head-on is going to lead to at least a relief from stress, but probably some other even greater blessing in my future.
Today I am thankful for those stressful things and getting to work through them. I wouldn't be the man I am today without them. Don't ever let anyone speak fear or doubt into your life when going through a process like I've mentioned today. Their chains NEVER have to be yours.
I hope to see you at UFAM, Until next time.
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