Alright. It finally happened. I have been sharing with people the importance of not overdoing yourself. In blogs I've written, podcasts I've recorded, and groups I've been in. Telling people to make sure they keep a close eye on their emotional/recovery capital. That concept is kind of like a bank account. You have a balance, and when life throws those inevitable stressors your way, it's like a withdrawal from your account. That covers what the withdrawals from your capital are, so what are your deposits? I am so damn glad you asked! The deposits, that raise your capital, are things like going to meetings, counseling, taking a day off, making sure you have healthy sleep habits, and self-care in many forms.
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In that analogy, you have to be cautious of how low your capital gets. Making sure to "balance your checking account" of life so you don't drain your account. Or worse, overdraft. When we ignore depositing into this account, we get a low balance. That puts us into unhealthy territory. Relapse, habits that can lead to relapse, or becoming unhealthy emotionally, spiritually, and physically are all things that happen much easier in this low recovery capital territory. This brings me to why I'm writing this blog now.
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I've been pushing myself to heights that have never existed for me. Working on my career and personal projects using more time and effort than ever before in my life. Now, even though life in long-term recovery has given me this ability, we must have the self-awareness to see when our capital balances are getting dangerously low. And I started to feel this in my life recently. I had to do something. I hadn't realized how empty I let the tanks get until I was walking through Meijer just to get some laundry detergent and I had the first craving for alcohol that I've experienced since relatively early in my recovery. I was terrified.
“Stress is the trash of modern life. We all generate it, but if you don’t dispose of it properly, it will pile up and overtake your life.” — Danzae Pace
So, the warrior in me took action. In these ranks, relapse is not an option anymore. I value the life I've built over the last three years and I won't let another "day one" take any of this away from me. Guy, gals, it was honestly pretty easy. I took a day off. I made sure my spirituality was sorted and prioritized. I started reading a book I'd been anticipating. I caught up on the sleep I've been making a low priority. I became more aware of my eating habits and tweaked them where necessary. I made sure I prayed as much as I needed to, and most importantly I spent time with people in my tribe who supported all of these decisions. The change is astounding.
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I'm going to sign out on a word to people in early recovery. You may not have built this capital up yet, and that's okay. You have different priorities that need to be addressed to get this foundation under your feet. I can not share enough how important it is to build the support system that's needed to accomplish this moving into long-term recovery. Find a sponsor, make your appointments with your therapist, dive in somewhere in a recovery community, get a recovery coach if you don't have one, and use them. Really reflect on the people, places, and things in your life. It's going to be uncomfortable, but some of these that don't support a healthy lifestyle in recovery may have to get the ax, and I'm not talkin' the body spray.
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The fact here is that your life matters. Mine didn't start to change for the better until I believed that for myself. I couldn't believe that until I started surrounding myself with people that supported my decisions in the journey through recovery I chose to be on.
You got this, I know it's not easy, but If you need help along the way I am always willing to give a helping hand.
Until next time.
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