Thank you for tuning in to the final chapter of my too-long-for-one-publication post. If this is the first blog, of mine, you've ever read it is the third and final part of a story from very early in my journey in recovery. You can find the first two by clicking here, and scrolling to the bottom of the page. With that I'm going to start right where I left off:
Because of the society I live in, media I consumed as a man, and my own pride, the menial task of saying nice things to myself felt like they asked me to saw my own finger off. I didn't like it. But, after a week or two, I realized that something was changing. I had a more positive outlook on almost everything and my thoughts seemed to be getting less and less dark. What was happening to me?
I now identify this as one of the first big "switches" I flipped in my head. Things I learned to do that completely changed my outlook and cultivated a life of wellness instead of victimhood and self-medication. The next step a few months later, also asked by the very same therapist, was to start listing things I'm grateful for when that overstimulation and stress started getting too big. It worked too. This lady is really on to something here.
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Months after that, and the changes it fostered, she identified that I was starting to enjoy my life. She was right. That's when she asked me to start listing "bad" things, while being grateful, that happened to me in the past as well. Stating that if I like my life now, I can't hate the path that brought me here. I had been noticing the good things I mentioned in the first blog of this series showing up in my life. This was my next step and it started a process I now call "shadow work". Integrating the suffering of our past to find wholeness in our present and future.
"Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity." —Melody Beattie
These were three of the big "switches" I flipped in my head that brought about real change and a life of recovery that started restoring things I had lost to addiction. A by-product of sticking with this lifestyle was added blessings, on top of receiving things I had lost, and real change. I like to tell this part of my story when I do groups with people in early recovery. It lays some real "how-to" ways I rewired my brain out of intense mental and emotional distress effectively saving my life.
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I remember what it was like having people telling me what I "had to do" and like any good addict, it seems, that's the last thing my rebellious ass wanted to do. Especially if I was being told these things by someone close to me that wasn't doing anything to fix their own issues. So that's why I'm laying it out here. One, living my experience out loud frees me from negativity and stigma. Two, if only one other person tries what worked for me and succeeds at kick-starting a life of sobriety and wellness from trying what I did, then my suffering has served a great purpose.
As always, if you have any questions about what you read here over these last few blogs, contact me. You can get my info by clicking here. If you'd like help through some unknown territory of early recovery by myself or one of my peers, click here.
Everyone at 217 Recovery is dedicated to using our lived experience to help people through the wilds of addiction into a life of wellness and recovery.
Until next time.
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