Psalm 119:105 - Your word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path.
That's a great verse. It is quite possibly becoming my "life verse". Life verse of course is the religious version of a mantra. That's beside the point right now though. I wanted to check in with all of you and just make sure you're all ok. Things feel off to me and after diving into the metaphysical side of social media like Scrooge McDuck in a tower full of gold coins.. I realized that there's a collective feeling of off-balance in the cosmos.
Is it Leo's ever-daunting lion's gate portal, the love retrograde(seems strange to blame this one) that's in full effect, or something much bigger and more permanent playing with the strands and direction of reality, as we know it? My guess is all of the above, lol. Either way, it's having an effect on me and just about everyone I know and care about.
Living in the midst of the off-balance it really feels like things just can not go right. It's more difficult to please those around you, it doesn't matter what you do(even if you try and follow the rules) it seems that the rules have changed without notice. That's stressful, and possibly CERN messing with space-time, but this is neither the time nor place for that conversation...
"It seems that the rules have changed without notice. That's stressful, and possibly CERN messing with space-time"
I can go as far to say that it's starting to mess with my recovery. Now don't get worried, there hasn't been any temptation to pick up any old DOCs. But, I've tried to quit vaping twice now in the last few months and it's just so easy to pick up when things get stressful. Especially in an environment that allows me to use it, almost, whenever I'd like. It's very easy to see how someone else in a different stage of their recovery might reach for that DOC instead.
One thing all this gives me is gratitude. Gratitude to be sober. Gratitude to be alive, shit, that's a big one. Gratitude to be employed and have close/supportive friends for the first time in a long ass time. But the biggest thing I have gratitude for today is that I've been given the opportunity to cultivate a personal relationship with my Creator, say Higher Power if you'd like. I was going to say "spiritual relationship", but He's really allowed it to grow into much more than that.
"I've been given the opportunity to cultivate a personal relationship with my Creator"
Where that leads me, and the wrap-up here, is that our relationship has grown enough for me to be able to hear Him when He speaks to me. And the biggest thing He's been telling me through all this off-balance and weird feeling energy is - Stepping Stones. Stepping stones has been a theme in my spiritual awakening and journey in general. It's become a cosmic-sized inside joke between Him and me when I start trying to push things open too quickly or start looking in the wrong direction.
It's also where Psalm 119:105 comes in. He's promised me(and you) that as long as we'll make the decision to look, He'll always be a lamp unto our feet and a light unto our paths. Even if that path is just one stepping stone at a time.
We're going to get through this. Thank you for joining me today.
Bye!
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