As we spring into a new year and come out of the busy holiday season, I was reminded very promptly that holiday break was a thing of the past and I need to snap back to reality and the hustle and bustle of what my life consists of these days. Spring semester for college officially started back up yesterday and luckily last week I remembered to go check and see if I needed any books or special supplies for my classes, but until Thursday night when I was able to go online and look at the school website and the classes I will be taking did I actually try to think about or comprehend wrapping my head back into school mode. I have three classes this semester and then I will graduate with my associate's degree and for the first time I actually have a class at the college, mainly due to two factors, I finally can drive there and know that I will be able to reliably get to class when I need to and also because it's an Astronomy class and I wanted to be able to go to the observatory for the lab portion of the class rather than have some virtual galaxy online to work with. However, I did not realize that the class was a hybrid class and its partially online and in person along with the lab.
In the past, I would have been freaking out about this final semester and the classes I have remaining, but somehow, I am remaining surprisingly calm. I don't know if it is due to my recent success in previous semesters, or if it's due to seeing the finish line of the first leg of the race ahead, or if it's my strong spiritual sense I have gained over the last couple years that allows me to just take things in stride and not worry too much about things that have yet to come, regardless, I am excited and confident that this semester will close one chapter of my life and open another. I never in my wildest dreams thought that getting a college degree was ever achievable for me. I doubted my own abilities far too much and cut myself down to the point I prevented many opportunities to happen. I still have troubles being confident about being confident in myself, but I also know my grit and determination to prove to myself and to others that I can do something pushes me through situations where many would balk at. I also need to remind myself to not push my confidence into cockiness and become complacent knowing the end is near.
Overall, this winter break and holiday season has been one of the best in my life, but like everything else in this world it is impermanent and the show must go on. Back to reality and what the next day brings. Until next time..
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