You're worth it. There's a reason for everything. Coincidence doesn't exist. These are just a few sayings I hear, and say myself, day to day along my wellness journey. You hear this a lot in the recovery community from individuals working on their self-worth and getting in touch with their spirituality. Today, as a person who struggled with self-worth to an extreme, in early recovery and before, I'd like to talk about:
PURPOSE
I've written in my blogs before about my depression. I was clinically diagnosed with severe depression w/out psychotic episodes within a year before I found a life of recovery. This mental health struggle came with the lowest self-worth I've ever experienced and suicidal ideation. I had attempted my own life twice while being in this untreated and unhealthy mental space. I don't tell you this for any sympathy, I share this to establish the overwhelming sense of purposelessness I used to live with. But, there's hope in the horror. Just stick with me for a moment, please.
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Fast forward four years. I've gotten sober, engaged in consistent therapy, professionally medicated my mental health challenges, AND clinically got off my meds in a healthy way. My journey of inner healing is in full swing and those suicidal tendencies are a thing of the past. I've been able to begin working in my local recovery community which has been an epic adventure in and of itself. There have been highs & lows, fun & stress, live TV appearances & meeting celebrities... None of this would have ever been possible during my life of using substances. One place this journey led me through is the unhoused community.
"Hope is not a lottery ticket you can sit on the sofa and clutch, feeling lucky. It is an axe you break down doors with in an emergency." —Rebecca Solnit
One day, I'm hanging out in a shelter. We went to play cards with the guests. Shortly after arriving the manager approaches me and says "A guest is looking for help and has agreed to talk with you". Peer Recovery Coach mode activated! I sit down and speak with this person and find out that our substance use experiences are incredibly similar. I have to spare the details, but with gentle guidance, this person was able to contact a treatment center, secure transportation through 217 Recovery Rides, and was able to get the help he was seeking that very day. I got the pleasure of being a pivotal part of this process.
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About 8 months later, I found out that that person followed through all the steps of treatment and aftercare. They were successfully sober, had a place to live, a full-time job, and were mending their relationships with their family. This person had put in the effort needed to find a life of wellness, just like I had a few short years before. In a very similar way.
I am in no way taking credit for the incredible change this person made in their lives. Anyone who has walked this road knows that without making daily decisions toward our own lives of recovery, it's far from possible to achieve. But it is achievable. Sometimes it takes that guidance in the beginning to find what options are available and assistance in making them possible. That's how it worked for me.
I will forever be grateful for the people who were there to help me make good decisions in early recovery. But more so, I will always be thankful to my Higher Power for restoring my sense of purpose and belief that there's a reason for absolutely everything.
If I can pull myself out of the deepest darkest pit of feeling worthlessness and get to the hope on the far side side of the horror... So can you. If you need help or guidance click here.
Until next time.
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