Teenagers are a mystery. One minute they’re sweet, loving humans, and the next, they act like you’ve personally ruined their entire existence by asking them to do a simple chore. Meanwhile, my dogs? Zoey, Ellie and Buster have seemed to have mastered life’s most basic principles.
Here are just a few things my dog understands better than my 17-year-old.
1. When You Call Their Name, You Should Respond
Dog: Hears their name, ears perk up, sprints toward me like I just announced the world’s biggest treat giveaway.
Teen: Hears her name, suddenly loses all ability to hear to me, unless money or food is involved.
2. Food Is a Privilege, Not a Punishment
Dog: Will eat the same kibble every day, happily wagging their tail as if it’s a five-star meal prepared by Gordon Ramsay.
Teen: Looks at a fridge full of food and declares, “There’s nothing to eat here.”
3. Sleeping Through the Night Is a Good Idea
Dog: Finds a comfy spot, curls up, and sleeps soundly for a solid 8-10 hours.
Teen: Thinks sleeping at night is for amateurs. Stays up until 3 AM, then complains about being tired all day.
4. A Walk Outside Won’t Kill You
Dog: Hears the word “walk” and immediately loses their mind with joy.
Teen: Hears “fresh air” and reacts like a vampire being exposed to direct sunlight.
5. If You Make a Mess, You Should Probably Clean It Up
Dog: If they make a mess, at least they look guilty about it.
Teen: Will keep stuffing trash in the trast can, and act like they are incapitable of taking the trast out to dumpster.
6. Unconditional Love Is the Best
Dog: Loves me no matter what. Even if I accidentally step on their tail, they forgive me in five seconds.
Teen: Loves me in private. In public? Acts like I dont even exist.
At the end of the day, I love my teen and my dogs equally, but let’s be honest—only one of them greets me at the door like I’m a rock star every single time I come home. (Hint: it’s not the one who takes two hours to text me back.)
Anyone else feel like their dog is way easier to raise than their teenager? Let me know in the comments!
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