Today

It's 2020. I'm battling congestive heart failure, severe mental health issues, and nerve damage so bad I can barely lift myself out of bed to use the bathroom. I've gained 200lbs and lost touch with every single one of my family members and friends, including my son. I roll my car because of my addiction. The fact that I've lost the ability to do almost any physical activity I had ever enjoyed in my life has fully established itself. I'm soaking in that covid money, which was just feeding a monster hell-bent on destroying who I was as a person in every way. My credit is in ashes, financially and relationally. The very last drops of hope that my life could ever be better were leaking out of my psyche. I was in and out of the hospital that year, barely hanging on. The journey through realizing that my days were numbered had already passed. Realizing there was nothing I could do about it had begun to solidify.

“Recovery is an acceptance that your life is in shambles and you have to change it.” – James Taylor

Today, it's 2023. Today, I have the energy and ability to go to events my son has at school. Today, I have an incredible best friend and support system. Today, I've lost weight and gained health. Today, I am active in a career where I get to help people. Today, I hold trust with family members. Today, I get to walk along the sidewalks downtown in a city that I love. Today, I have a car loan and reliable transportation. Today, I get to recall the good times I had at the beach with friends last weekend. Today, I get to plan a date with a beautiful woman who walked a similar road as I have. Today, I have hope for a beautiful future. Today, I have love in my life. Today, I'm free.

Recovery gave me this.